Why People Who Can’t Be Single Are Weak

The most important phase of dating in my opinion is the detox from it. I don’t think I’ve ever been more vulnerable or made worse dating decisions than when I’m heart broken. This is just normal. You’re sad, lonely, not having regular sex. Human connectedness might be reduced to social media, the Starbucks barista or coworkers and clients (that you aren’t interested in fucking). That’s a tough spot. And trust me, I’ve binged on enough weed, Netflix and Jimmy Johns alone in my room for my pets to start wondering when THEY will see another boy again (lol Pedro wants a daddy). But this detox, sadness, loneliness, solitude…to me, it’s ALL necessary. Because of one thing…clarity.

How can you ever understand your mistakes, make different choices or figure out what you want when you jump into a relationship with the dude that slid into your dms a week after a break up? Your decision making is being clouded by sadness, insecurity and most likely feelings of failure.

I think that people who jump from relationship to relationship, also known as serial monogamists, are weak. Instead of processing their own issues, childhood trauma or heartbreak, they dump it into the next person they get involved with. I have been the Brita filtration system for MANY broken boys. I attract them like a moth to a flame and there is part of me that loooooves it. But, these boys always leave me empty and broken. I put so much of myself into fixing their issues and building them up that I lose myself in the process. Then a year later, I find myself in a very one sided relationship with a hot man-child who isn’t capable of supporting me in any way. Want to know how I realized this and decided to make different choices? I STAYED SINGLE. ON PURPOSE. I consciously decided that I’m done sacrificing my independence, creativity and time. Especially on people that don’t deserve it. I’m so blessed with loving, intelligent, and inspiring friends and family that I don’t really NEED to channel my time and attention into a black hole.

I’m not interested in being constantly supported. I’m interested in an ocean of a relationship that ebbs and flows. It’s not 50/50. It’s 80/20, It’s 60/40. It’s different every day. You adjust and you support and you fight and you love and you forgive and you crumble and you rebuild. THATS the kind of relationship I’m interested in being a part of. I want to get leaned on and I want to feel safe enough to lean if I have to. We all deserve that. But first, we have to process our own shit. And in the meantime, I’m actually loving my Netflix and Jimmy Johns 💋

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NO BAKE CAKE-BATTER PROTEIN BALLS

This recipe is basically a culmination of the best ones I was able to find online. Obviously as with anything, you can adjust this recipe to fit your needs!

 

I need sprinkles! Sometimes you need an energy boost, sweet snack or little something to tide you over between meals so you don’t turn into a voracious water buffalo (or maybe that’s just me). These cake batter bites are PERFECT for all of the above. Also, if you are one of those girls that wears a tiara and celebrates your birthday for an entire month you will LOVE these 😉

 

Ingredients

  • 1 cup vanilla protein powder
    • 1 tsp vanilla extract
  • 1/2 cup coconut flour
  • 4 tb sp cashew butter
  • 1/2 cup almond milk

***Optional (kind of): Sprinkles

 

Instructions

Mix protein powder and coconut flour together in mixing bowl working out any clumps with a fork. Combine almond milk, cashew butter and vanilla extract until mixed well. Fold in sprinkles to the mixture. Roll into balls and store in fridge. You can roll the balls themselves in sprinkles but just note that after a few days they will get a little messy. Better to dip right before eating if you can!

27 Things I learned While I Was 27

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What a WEIRD age twenty-seven was for me. From having to defend not being married with kids yet to my parents, to having to justify moving out of state to pursue my career to others…OMG LEAVE ME ALONE. Twenty-seven held some of the most interesting, exciting and heart-wrenching lessons so far. Here they are!

1. Taking a trip alone is invigorating, fun and totally worth it.

2. Date yourself. Be your own best friend. Don’t wait for some loser to take you to go see a movie you’re really into. Just go see it. BONUS: You won’t have to share your snacks 😉

3. Don’t ever compare your REAL self to someone else’s social media projected image. They look like a mix between Martha Stewart and some kind of goddess with the perfect boyfriend and flawless skin, but in real life…they probably struggle with IBS or have a hentai obsession. Chill. No one is THAT perfect.

4. When someone disrespects you, it’s a reflection of who they are and has nothing to do with you.

5. Never regret loving someone unconditionally, even if they can’t reciprocate. Be proud to have a loving heart.

6. Uber is WAY cheaper than a DUI.

7. Learn to be honest about and communicate your feelings. It’s better to lose someone who doesn’t respect your feelings than to bite your tongue and have a relationship that isn’t rooted in honesty and mutual respect.

8. Handwritten notes are the best thing ever and the perfect way to let someone know why you appreciate them. 

9. Moving across the country alone to a state where you literally know no one is one of the best things you can do for your confidence and independence. It will also force you to question yourself and figure out what truly makes you happy.

10. Stop trying to control and manipulate the outcomes of every, little thing. Enjoy the process. Sometimes things work out better naturally than you could have ever dreamed. If not, it was probably a lesson that you just HAD to learn the hard way because you can’t ever listen to anyone (hehe whoops).

11. It’s ok, necessary and healthy to walk away from a friendship that hurts you in any way. If you feel unappreciated…you probably aren’t imagining it.

12. You are way tougher than you think.

13. WEARING ALL BLACK IS THE BEST.

14. Date people without expectations. It’s worth it and fun to meet and have experiences with someone who isn’t right for you.

15. Use all of your vacation days and never let anyone make you feel bad about it.

16. Cooking for the people you love is so fun and satisfying.

17. Take one moment a day to be truly grateful for something. 

18. Being in the presence of animals and children is therapeutic. 

19. ALWAYS buy cage free eggs.

20. Taking a day to just cry and feel upset is ok. Life is hard and confusing sometimes. Don’t be afraid to ask your mom for advice.

21.There is NO place like home. 

22. It’s worth it to learn to truly listen and find a small way to make someone’s day better.

23. Use Tinder.

24. Get the tattoo, post the selfie, do whatever makes you happy…unless it’s butchering people. That’s messed up, bro.

25. When someone REALLY cares about you, it’s won’t be a mystery as to whether they do or not. Stop analyzing. Trust your gut.

26. Every one of my heroes is either related to me or is one of my best friends. I’ve been lucky enough to meet and interview lots and lots of celebrities and very talented amazing people. They don’t hold a candle to the people who send me “how’s your day?” texts.

27. Be kind, gentle and patient with yourself. You can’t give to anyone if you are depleted of love for yourself.

Continue reading 27 Things I learned While I Was 27

  Radio: 5 Things That Matter To Me INFINITELY MORE Than Market Size

 

 People literally freak out about what size market they work in. While it’s important to create career goals for yourself (that may include working up to a larger market), there are a five things that when working in sync with one another, matter to me infinitely more than the size of the market I’m working in.

1. Is the work environment one where where managers and leaders foster creativity?

In today’s radio climate, with the ever present fear of lawsuits, it can be hard to get management on board with a contest or promotion that may seem risky in their eyes legally. However, are they encouraging of your contribution of ideas? Do they work WITH you to work toward a plan that everyone can agree on?
These factors are key in having a successful radio show and just happiness in general for a field of work that is so highly creative.

2. Is the talent generally appreciated and treated with respect?
Is your PD constantly asking you for favors and then never seemingly appreciative when you deliver? Are u constantly the one who is targeted to host free events? It does not take much to make people feel appreciated and ultimately make them go above and beyond for you. That’s why if you are not getting the simple “thank you’s” and “good jobs” periodically, it can seem like a blatant lack of respect for your time and hard work.
3. Does sales, management, and air staff have a common goal and open communication?
In the short term it may seem like we all have different goals. Sales is out for money, we are out for ratings, and management is out to hopefully facilitate and make sure everything runs smoothly. 
But really, we all want the same thing. A great sounding radio station where every one is working together to create the best product possible. If your PD hides information about ratings, or sales refuses to communicate on their end, it can really create an environment where nothing gets done efficiently. 
The responsibility falls on each department to clearly communicate with the next.
4. Do you feel supported?
Do you feel like management has your back? If a listener called tomorrow and accused you of farting into the microphone while screaming profanity, would your PD Immediately come to your defense? Or be quick to believe everything the listener said?
The feeling of being supported is absolutely imperative to work at your highest capacity. Everyone makes mistakes, but knowing that your PD is on your side can help you to more seamlessly work through them and avoid them in the future.
5. Are you happy?
Are you making enough money to live comfortably? Do you have a healthy work/life balance? Do you leave work with the sense of a “job well done,”? Do you feel that your are growing and working toward your own personal career goals? Many of these things are all products of the culture created within the radio station. 
If your particular situation is lacking any of the things on this list, it’s possible that you are not happy. Which is NOT COOL. It’s hard to work your way up to being on the air in any market. Whether the market be small or large, life is too short to spend it in a place where you are miserable. 
If I can answer YES to numbers 1-5 on this list, I could care less about the size of the market I’m working in. And I’m totally cool with the fact that my career journey is different from other people’s. I embrace it. You should too  🙂

12 Things To Stop Saying To People In Radio

Radio is a crazy industry and I’m pretty sure one of the requirements of working in this field is to be a little crazy yourself. However, below are a few things every radio DJ is just SICK of hearing…

1. You’re so lucky, you get to just talk for a living.

You’re right. I am grateful every day to have a job that is so unique and fun. However, much more goes into getting a job like mine than “luck” and it takes a lot more to keep it than “just talking.”

2. I could’ve totally done my own radio show.

This is a back-handed way of implying that you are fully capable of doing what I do but with zero experience. And I could’ve been a marine biologist…but then I realized I suck at math and can’t swim. Just like ANY job, some level of training and skill goes into it. To assume you could just jump in and be a pro is insulting and ignorant.

3. How much do you make?

This is rude no matter what field someone works in! Stop asking this! And to curb some of that curiosity, probably a lot less than you think…Lol

4. Can I get free tickets to (insert show here)?

Contrary to popular belief, I don’t get a fat stack of tickets to hand out, keep, or sell on stub hub any time an artist is in town. Usually a certain number of tickets is given to my company and they are usually all allotted for contests. In fact, sometimes it’s hard for me to even get a ticket to a show I want to see.

5. So are you trying to be like Howard Stern or something?

Lol no. There’s only one Howard Stern and only one me. I’m just trying to work hard and be successful in my own right.

6. I have a great idea for your show…

No you don’t.

7. What’s your backup plan?

Being a Starbucks barista. UHM my backup plan?! This is my CAREER. I’m sorry if it makes you uncomfortable that I’ve decided to take on certain risks and challenges in order to be successful and do something I love, but I couldn’t live any other way.

8. Why aren’t you doing TV?

Television is great. So is what I do. They are completely different mediums and each requires a different, specialized skill set with some overlap. Just don’t assume that everyone who works in radio wants to be on tv. Many work their whole lives to master a particular format and love going to work in pajamas thank you very much 🙂

9. Omg I’m SO SORRY!!! I NEVER even listen to the radio!

I don’t care. OMG! You’re a mortgage banker!!? I’m sooooo sorry because I rent and don’t buy! Lol I’m not offended if someone chooses not to be a huge radio listener…but I know you’re lying when you say you NEVER listen.

10. Radio is a dying industry.

Radio has undergone drastic changes over the past few years. Jobs are not as abundant, pay has decreased and talent is at an all time low. BUT, if you’re talented, work hard, and dedicate yourself, there is still opportunity to be just as happy and rich as the next person. I’ve seen it with my own eye balls!

11. Wanna host (insert here) for free? It’s only a few hours.

Aside from charity events, assuming that I should always do my job for free, is essentially saying that what I do has no real value and either does my time. If anyone can do it, maybe you should just do it yourself.

12. Can you mention my business on the air?!

That’s illegal. Not only could I potentially lose my job, you are asking me to do what I get paid for, for free again. Businesses pay me money to talk about them. I get a cut, sales gets a cut and so does the company I work for. If you’d like to buy some airtime I can definitely point you in the right direction though!

Just be respectful of people and their craft, no matter what it is 🙂

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